Ever since I proposed that my wife handle our finances, our love has gone stronger and everything is just falling into place.
I earn more than her as a truck driver but she is clearly much better with numbers than I am. We have managed to save for bigger projects that we struggled to do for the first three years of our marriage.
Now, ten years into our marriage and two kids later, we are as happy as newlyweds all because of the decision I made seven years ago.
This is the story of Raymond Mgobozi of Empangeni, married to Lerato, a receptionist.
When we were dating, none of us meddled into the other’s finances and even when we got married, it continued like that.
Three years into our marriage, I realised that Lerato was more financially organised than me so I suggested that she handles both our incomes.
She gladly accepted the challenge and I am very happy I swallowed my pride and asked her. It’s not easy for an African man, Zulu to be specific, like me to ask their wife to ‘run the show’ as I just did.
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Your peers will tell you that you can’t be controlled by your wife because if she controls the money she will be controlling you, but that’s all bull* to me, I am the happiest man in the world right now.
When we got married and started building a life together, we agreed that we would use both our incomes for household expenses. I thought I was clever because I would obviously remain with more change than her.
That change has not taken me anywhere but instead, create problems in my marriage.
I had departed from what I saw when I grow up. My father was in such a setup with my mother. She was a full-time housewife and only my father went to work, so my father would give her all the money then get an allowance for the month.
When I realised how it worked for my parents I prayed that my wife agrees and hoped that she would master it.
She has not disappointed a bit. I must admit that pride got me bad I couldn’t tell her directly but I know she will see this piece and be proud that I appreciate her.
The biggest lesson I learnt growing up seeing my mother handling household finances even when she wasn’t that educated is that nothing will ever be mishandled when a woman handles a family’s finances.
When I tell other men about my family arrangement, they get shocked that I proposed it to my wife, not the other way around.
We have become more transparent to each other about every aspect of life and our love grows stronger every day.
Finances are a very sensitive subject that should be handled with great care. Once you are able to make a proper arrangement for your finances it opens up other channels of communication in your marriage. You are then able to overcome any obstacles you face in your marriage.
Also, I spend my money freely, guilt-free knowing everything else is sorted and my wife knows the source of my money.
She does not ‘control’ the finances as others would say, but manages them. We set aside time monthly, since I am not at home often, to discuss our financial goals, plan for the future and keep track of everything in our household.
It’s a beautiful feeling to be able to spoil your wife anytime you want without stressing about how bills will be paid.
We have gotten much closer ever since she became the household finance manager.
I think wives can love more freely and openly if men are open to them.
I’ve seen couples getting divorced because they failed to make a proper arrangement for their finances. Couples should talk about finances from the early stages of their relationship and make sure they understand each other from the onset. Women should be free to say how they feel finances should be dealt with and not hesitate thinking that their man would think they want to control them.
If I didn’t realise in time, I don’t know where we could be with my wife right now.
Finances can make or break a marriage and they also reveal what type of person you’re with.
I am happy getting my monthly allowance and not stressing about how to balance things every month. When I get more that month, my allowance increases too, it has made us happier, stronger, more transparent with each other and above all, more affectionate towards one another.
How is your financial setup, is it working as planned?